


how can i show what i feel for you

by schuylerhamilton



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - The Sound of Music Fusion, Aubrey Hall, Bonding, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29088483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schuylerhamilton/pseuds/schuylerhamilton
Summary: After Violet Bridgerton dies tragically in early April 1814, Anthony is left with no choice but to push back his search for a wife for yet another season. And… he desperately needs to hire a governess for his younger siblings.Even though she’d saved up for years for the opportunity to present both Kate and Edwina in the same season, Mary realizes that she won’t be able to give her daughters the season they both deserve. Wanting to help her stepmother and half-sister, Kate takes a job at the Bridgerton House as a governess for the two youngest Bridgerton siblings.A Sound of Music-inspired AU.
Relationships: Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sheffield, Anthony Bridgerton/Siena Rosso, Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Basset
Comments: 28
Kudos: 156





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> I can’t get enough of Anthony and Kate. I’ve really enjoyed writing this work so far, I hope you all enjoy reading it!
> 
> Edit: The title of this work has been changed. It comes from “How Can Love Survive”. :)

_Lord Anthony Bridgerton has previously been discussed by This Author, most notably during the last social season, when he and The Duke of Hastings went toe-to-toe in a duel over a scandal involving The Duke and Bridgeton’s sister. Of course, as we all now know, neither man died in the duel, and The Duke and Duchess of Hastings are very happy together. Although The Duke is no longer a Rake, the same cannot be said of Lord Bridgerton._

_And, since the Viscount is by far the most eligible bachelor of the season, it goes without saying that we all sincerely hope he will give in to matrimony. “Hope,” of course, is the key word in this situation. This Author deems the prospect of Lord Bridgerton finding a wife this season…_

_Quite unlikely._

— LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS, 10 April 1814

* * *

“How did it happen?” Anthony asked the doctor quietly, closing the door to his parents’ bedroom behind him with a _click_. He’d never stopped referring to the room as his _parents_ ’, even after his father died. He couldn’t bear to call it _just_ his mother’s bedroom. And now…

Well, it was nobody’s room now, wasn’t it?

“We’re not sure,” The doctor replied, looking down at Violet Bridgerton’s motionless frame on the bed. “The cause of death seems to have been a broken heart.”

Anthony’s face paled a bit. In the eleven years since his father had died, he’d thought his mother had reached the _acceptance_ stage, the last stage of the seven stages of grief. He himself was still in the process of reconciling with his father’s death, but his mother had always appeared so strong and resilient that the thought of her dying from a broken heart seemed, quite frankly, absolutely absurd.

He swallowed thickly, and thought of his younger siblings. Some of them had dealt with a parent’s death before, but others were too little at the time to have remembered anything about their father’s death at all. His heart broke slightly at the thought of Gregory and Hyacinth’s reaction to the news of their mother’s death.

“Well,” Anthony said finally, his voice sounding shaky and foreign to his own ears. He clasped his hands behind his back and stared at his mother’s body. She looked peaceful, like she was just sleeping, and, strangely enough, that filled him with a small sense of contentment. If there really was a God above, then Violet Bridgerton would be most pleased to be finally reunited with her husband after eleven excruciating years of being parted from him.

He took a shuddering breath. “I must go inform my siblings of the situation.”

“Of course, sir,” The doctor replied, bowing his head slightly. “Although, may I offer a quick suggestion before you retire to see your siblings?”

Anthony nodded, tearing his eyes away from his mother. He focused on the doctor and waited for the older man to respond.

“You have siblings who are very young, is that correct?”

The viscount nodded again. “Yes, the youngest, Hyacinth, is only eleven. And Gregory is thirteen.”

“Well, since you _are_ a viscount, and have many duties of your own, and…” The doctor shot a quick look at the bed. “Your mother is now gone, I think it would be in your best interest to hire a governess.”

Anthony’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “A governess?”

“Yes. Surely you do not have enough time off of your work, and would appreciate some help in managing the younger children in the house?”

He sighed. “Yes, I most definitely would.” He held out his hand for the doctor to shake, and he did. “Thank you for the suggestion. I shall sent out a notice for a governess very soon.”

The doctor left the room, but Anthony stayed in the bedroom. He didn’t move, just stared at his mother’s body in silence. Then, after rubbing his eyes aggressively and letting out a long, dejected sigh, he finally made his way out of the bedroom, and prepared to tell his siblings something that could only be described as one of his worst nightmares.

* * *

_It seems that, after the unfortunate death of Lady Violet Bridgerton, Lord Anthony Bridgerton has made it clear that he seeks to hire a governess for his youngest siblings. This Author sends her condolences to the Bridgerton family. Losing one parent is surely hard enough, but losing both is terribly sad._

_In light of these recent events, This Author has enough reason to believe that Lord Bridgerton, who is no doubt the most sought-after bachelor of this year’s social season, has decided not to partake in this year’s search for an acceptable wife after all. However, young ladies of the Ton, I advise you not to arrive at Bridgerton House with the intention of winning over the viscount. As London knows, he is quite a busy man, one who is no doubt still reeling from his mother’s tragic death. During this time, one should be as professional as possible with the eldest Bridgerton. This Author hopes that next year, he will finally secure a bride._

— LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS, 20 April 1814

* * *

Kate marched into the room, shooting an annoyed look at her stepmother and half-sister as they both pushed the latest edition of _Whistledown_ away from them.

“You’re both still reading that gossip column, aren’t you?” She grumbled, walking over to the table to look at the pamphlet. Edwina slid it over to her, tucking a stray strand of golden hair behind her ear.

“Lady Whistledown knows everything.” She shrugged. “It’s important to keep with the times, Kate, especially since the social season is upon us.”

“ _You_ ,” Kate corrected. “It’s only upon _you_ , dear sister. I have no intention of finding a husband this season, no matter how much Mary would like me to.”

Mary’s lips pressed into a thin, firm line. “Kate—“

“I’d much rather become a spinster.” Kate retorted, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “I imagine it’s much more interesting than sitting around at home, waiting for my husband to come home. And, it’s _much_ more likely.”

Her stepmother sighed, and she and Edwina shot each other a look.

“What?” Kate asked, staring at them. “Now that Edwina has been named the season’s incomparable, I highly doubt anyone would even _want_ to court me, anyway. Unless, of course, they decide to settle for me after realizing that Edwina’s been taken by a _Bridgerton_.” She shuddered.

Mary looked down at the _Whistledown_ pamphlet, which sat on the table, right in front of Kate. “Well, you’re in luck, I suppose. Now that Lord Bridgerton isn’t available, I’m sure Edwina will have a flock of suitors around her at every ball. None of which are as rich as the Viscount, unfortunately.”

“What?” Kate looked at Edwina, who motioned for her to read _Whistledown_. She picked up the pamphlet and skimmed over it.

“… _Lord Anthony Bridgerton has made it clear that he seeks to hire a governess for his youngest siblings…_ ” Kate read aloud, a plan forming in her mind.

If Mary feared that Edwina would not marry a rich enough man, perhaps Kate could drop out of the season altogether, and work for the Viscount in order to provide Edwina with a dowry in the event that she got married this season.

She looked up at them, her family. “I’ll do it,” She said suddenly, putting _Whistledown_ back on the table.

“ _What_?!” Mary gaped at her, and Edwina looked slightly horrified.

“Edwina needs a dowry,” Kate explained. “I’ll work as a governess for the Viscount. He’ll pay me, and I’ll use my salary as the dowry for her.”

“But, Kate,” Edwina sputtered, her eyes wide. “You don’t even _know_ how to be a governess.”

“I’ll learn.” She promised, turning to Mary. “Please? Edwina is the incomparable, and she needs to have the best season as possible. She deserves it. You don’t need to worry about me.”

Mary paused for a moment, clearly mulling over her options. “Okay.” She said finally. “Fine.”

Kate sighed in relief, but looked up to Edwina shooting daggers at her.

“Lord Bridgerton is a _rake_ ,” She hissed, staring at Kate with an expression that clearly said _Are you_ sure _you want to do this_? “You wouldn’t let me be caught dead with him. You warned me about him before we even arrived in London, remember?”

She _did_ remember, but, right now, she didn’t much care. Kate had to do this. For Edwina.

“Well, let’s just hope I won’t have to see him much,” She said in response, and that was that.

Kate Sheffield was going to apply to be the new governess for the Bridgerton siblings. And she _was_ going to try to avoid the Viscount as much as possible.

* * *

Kate arrived at Bridgerton House a few days later, with nothing but a singular trunk, full of her simple clothes and possessions from back home in Somerset. The house in front of her was large, with red brick walls and huge, white windows. It might’ve seemed imposing, but the flowers that decorated the exterior and grew next to the bushes near the gate made it seem… almost friendly.

Honestly, she hadn’t expected to get the job. She’d sent in a letter a week earlier, and one of the maids had responded soon after, as a representative of the Viscount.

 _Lord Bridgerton has accepted your offer to live in Bridgerton House as a governess for his younger siblings. Please arrive within the next week._

So, now here she was, with the strangest suspicion that her life was about to change quite drastically.

Kate pushed open the heavy black gate, pulling her trunk along with her, and walked across the gravel road until she was in front of the house’s front stairs. She left her black trunk at the bottom, then climbed the concrete stairs and knocked on the door.

Within less than a minute, it opened, and Kate was face-to-face with who she assumed was Lord Bridgerton. The man stared at her for a moment, then gestured to the butler to retrieve her trunk and take it indoors.

The Viscount looked older than his years, but Kate assumed that his looks were the result of mourning his father, and, now, mother.

She stuck out her hand, and he took it, rather hesitantly.

“Lord Bridgerton,” Kate ventured, as the man removed his hand from hers after shaking it politely. “I’m Kate Sheffield, your new governess.”

He blinked in surprise. “Oh, Miss Sheffield,” He said hurriedly. “You’re mistaken. I’m Lord Bridgerton’s butler.”

“Oh.” She replied, feeling rather dumb. Deciding to shake it off, Kate took a deep breath and followed the butler into the house.

The interior was absolutely grand, with white walls and ceilings and light brown wooden floors. It was nicer than anywhere Kate had lived in her twenty-one years of life, and, she suspected, she’d probably have encountered even more beautiful residences if she’d committed to the social season.

The butler left, leaving her alone to admire the house’s beautiful entryway. To her left and right, there were multiple sets of doors, and she had no idea where those led to. And, in front of her, was the grandest staircase she’d ever seen. The railings were black iron, similar to the gate outside, and the stairs were covered with deep blue carpet.

Kate did a full turn, looking around at the residence that she was to work in, and she noticed a door that was slightly ajar.

She crept forward, pushing it open, and found herself in what she assumed was one of many sitting rooms in the Bridgerton household. It wasn’t huge, but it was certainly larger than any sitting room she’d ever sat in back in Somerset. The early afternoon sunlight shone through the windows, and she smiled, realizing how _homey_ it felt.

She was just setting her hands on the back of a gorgeous couch, when the loud sound of someone opening the door startled her. Kate whirled around, eyes wide, and found herself staring at a man, who was, no doubt, Lord Anthony Bridgerton.

His brown eyes bore into hers, and for a second he did not move, or even make a sound. Kate stared at him, unsure of what to do. His dark brown hair was swept over one side of his face, and his lips formed a thin, disapproving line.

And then, finally, he spoke, clearing his throat and adjusting his cravat. “In the future, you will kindly remember that there are some rooms in this house that are not to be disturbed.”

She nodded quickly, wringing her hands together nervously. He gestured for her to leave the room, and she did, following him out into the main hall.

“You’re the new governess, is that correct?” He asked sternly, clasping his hands together behind his back.

“Yes, sir,” Kate replied, and he shot her a look, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. “I mean… yes, my lord.” She corrected herself, and he nodded ever-so-slightly. She imagined that she could’ve blinked and missed his small sign of approval.

“Good,” The Viscount replied, looking at her sternly. “I trust that you will be better than the others.”

“The… others?” She’d thought she was the first governess to work in the Bridgerton household. Apparently, she’d neglected to think about the fact that the older Bridgerton siblings probably had a governess when they were younger.

“Yes. You’re the third one I’ve hired this week.” He said, like she should’ve somehow known that. “The last one barely stayed for an hour before I asked her to leave.”

“Oh.” Kate gulped. She was trying not to let her nervousness get the best of her. She had to make this job work, for her family’s sake. For Edwina.

She couldn’t fail, and by God, she _wouldn’t._

“Try your best not to disappoint me, Miss Sheffield,” He muttered, before refocusing his attention on a girl who had just walked into the room. She was just a few years younger than Kate, if she had to guess, and her brown hair was so dark, it almost looked black.

“Eloise!”

The younger Bridgerton stopped in her tracks when she heard her brother’s voice.

“What?” She inquired, eyeing Kate suspiciously.

“Go fetch your siblings. _Quickly_.” He told her, and she snorted, a very unladylike trait. The Viscount sighed.

“ _All_ of them?” Eloise fired back. “That would take some time. You know, fetching Daphne from Clyvedon, and all.”

“ _No_ ,” Her older brother replied, clearly exasperated. Kate felt like she was intruding on a family moment that she probably shouldn’t have seen. She and Edwina never talked to each other this way. “Just… bring the ones who are younger than you downstairs, please?”

Eloise left, stalking up the stairs with a rather dramatic _huff_ , leaving Kate alone with the Viscount once again.

She stared at him out of the corner of her eye, before refocusing her attention on her feet. He had such dark circles under his eyes, she realized, almost like he hadn’t slept in a week.

Well, given the situation he was currently in, he probably hadn’t. Kate supposed that his sleep schedule had been less than ideal ever since he’d inherited his father’s title.

She tapped one of her feet on the wooden floor quietly, waiting for the youngest siblings to come trampling down the stairs. He shot her a disapproving look, and she stopped.

If this was what the Viscount was like around women who _weren’t_ his mistresses… well, Kate understood why he hadn’t gotten married yet. Surely, no woman would want to be trapped in a loveless marriage with a stern, sleep-deprived Viscount, who would probably make love to his mistress more often than he made love to his own _wife_.

The pattering sounds of feet hitting carpet caused Kate to look up from the floor. Eloise was leading two girls and a boy down the blue-carpeted stairs. They all had brown hair, and the same warm, brown eyes. The youngest, a girl, looked to be about ten or eleven.

“Line up,” He barked, once the siblings had descended the staircase and stood in front of Kate.

“Alphabetically?” Eloise asked, her lips quirking up into a sly smile. Clearly, she was trying to annoy her eldest brother.

He rolled his eyes slightly. “Yes, of _course_. What other way is there?”

 _What? Alphabetically?_ Kate thought. She knew that there were several Bridgerton siblings, which required the family to think of creative ways to tell them, mostly the brothers, apart, but she’d never heard of sorting a family _alphabetically_.

“By height?” She suggested, which earned her an angry glance from her youngest brother.

“ _Hey_!” He said, crossing his arms in front of him. “I’m older than her!”

He pointed a small finger at the youngest sister, who was a few inches taller than him. She gloated, smiling mischievously.

“Yes, but _I’m_ taller.”

The Viscount mouth’s twisted slightly, almost as if he was trying to hide a smile. “Line up,” He repeated. “ _Alphabetically_ ,” He added, noticing that they were about to open their mouths again.

The four siblings lined up, with Eloise first.

“This is your new governess, Miss Sheffield,” Their older brother explained. “Now, would each of you kindly state your name and age for her? Eloise, you first.”

Eloise sighed and stepped forward. “I’m Eloise, I’m 18, and I _don’t_ need a governess.”

Her older brother once again shot Eloise a stern look as she stepped back into line, and he motioned for the next sibling to step forward.

“I’m Francesca. I’m 17.” She said, smiling politely at Kate. Kate had a feeling she wouldn’t be seeing those two sisters much at all. The younger ones were much more likely to be her priority.

The next sibling, the youngest brother, marched forward without needing to be told to. “I’m Gregory,” He announced. “And I’m 13.”

The Viscount nodded approvingly in his direction, and Kate waited for the last sibling to introduce herself.

The young girl didn’t move, she just simply stared at Kate, a bit wide-eyed, before Gregory finally pushed her forward.

“I’m Hyacinth,” She said, shooting a small smile at her new governess. “I’m 11.”

She rejoined the line, and, just like that, Kate had been officially introduced to the children who were now in her care. It was the strangest way she’d ever been introduced to a group of siblings, and it screamed order and respect, something that the Viscount clearly valued above all else. He was, after all, their eldest brother, _and_ the man of the house. The things he did would certainly have quite an influence on his younger siblings.

“Hello.”

Kate barely had time to get the greeting out before the four siblings were ushered back upstairs, to what she could only presume was another drawing room.

“Dinner is at 6 o’clock!” The Viscount called out to his siblings as they climbed the stairs.

“We _know_ , Anthony!” Eloise replied, in a tone that Kate was sure was accompanied by an eye roll.

Lord Bridgerton — _Anthony_ — pressed his lips together, probably wishing he could chide his younger sister again. He turned to Kate, and exhaled, before collecting himself and clasping his hands behind his back once more.

“The maid will show you to your room.” He told her, his tone less stern than it was when he was speaking to his siblings, but it was still commanding nonetheless. “I trust you will join us for dinner in a few hours.”

He framed it as a statement, not a question, and Kate nodded slowly.

The Viscount left, leaving her alone in the house’s huge entryway. Within a few minutes, the maid appeared, and led her upstairs. As she climbed the stairs, Kate craned her neck to look at the house’s high, white ceilings.

Bridgerton House’s second floor was just as bright and welcoming as the floor below it. The entire second floor was covered in the same royal blue carpet as the stairs. The maid led her down the hallway, and there was a closed door at the very end of it.

She opened the door, which led to what Kate could only assume was a spare bedroom. However, even though it was a spare, it wasn’t small in size. She stepped inside, and the maid closed the door behind her, informing her that the butler would be up with her trunk soon.

Kate thanked her, and then turned around to inspect her new bedroom. Pushed up to the wall sat a nice queen size bed, and she decided to put her trunk at the end of it, once the butler delivered it to her. There was a vanity and a mirror opposite the bed, with a dresser right beside it. Like most other windows in the house, the two windows in the room had white curtains, allowing plenty of sunlight to seep in.

She glanced at herself in the mirror, examining her gray, almost silver, dress. It wasn’t the fanciest thing she owned, but she supposed it would be acceptable for dinner.

Taking a deep breath, she turned around and sat on the bed, trying to come to terms with her new reality.

Dear God, what on earth had she gotten herself into?  
  


* * *

  
Dinner that night was… eventful, to say the least.

If the Viscount didn’t approve of her dress, he didn’t say anything about it. Kate hadn’t expected almost _all_ of the siblings to eat together, but here they were, seven siblings (and a new governess) sitting at the dining table.

“It’s really not the same without Daphne here,” The second oldest brother, Benedict, told her. He was seated to her left, and, to her right, at the the head of the table, was Lord Bridgerton. “She and Eloise usually bicker over the most ridiculous things.”

Across the table, Eloise frowned at her brother, but it was clear that she wasn’t really mad at him.

“Well, it’s not my fault that I prefer to educate myself instead of acting like a bloody idiot in order to impress a man.” Eloise shrugged, and Kate bit back a laugh. “Daphne rarely wins our arguments,” She informed Kate.

The Viscount stopped stabbing a piece of meat, gesturing with his fork to where Gregory and Hyacinth sat, near the other end of of the table. “Don’t curse in front of your younger siblings,” He chided, his lips pressing into a thin line.

He truly was the man of the house, and the head of the family, in every way that mattered, Kate realized. For Gregory, and especially Hyacinth, he was the only father that they’d ever known. He couldn’t be the entertaining older brother that Benedict and the third Bridgerton brother, Colin, clearly were. Lord Anthony Bridgerton had not chosen his role in life. It had simply been thrust upon him.

For a brief, fleeting second, she thought that she might’ve felt bad for him.

Gregory and Hyacinth were trying, and failing, to stifle their laughter, and Eloise looked pleased with herself.

Their eldest brother sighed, clearly fed up. To Kate’s surprise, he directed his attention to her.

“You wouldn’t happen to be related to Edwina Sheffield, would you?”

Kate shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “She’s my younger sister,” She said, glancing at the Viscount for a split second, before looking back down at her plate. “And this season’s incomparable.” She added, trying to ignore the way his eyebrows raised slightly.

The expression made him look less like a stern, grumpy middle-aged man, and more like an interested bachelor, which wouldn’t have been all that bad, except for the fact that the mention of her _sister_ caused it. Kate Sheffield would _not_ let Lord Anthony Bridgerton go anywhere near her sister, especially since he was no longer participating in the social season.

“Hm.” He said, and Kate eyed him suspiciously. “How nice.”

The silence after his comment was interrupted by the sound of Hyacinth’s fork scraping against her plate, which made everybody cringe.

“Sorry!” The girl cried out, and Gregory let his head fall into his hands.

Kate wondered if the Viscount wished he could do the same thing.

* * *

The sky seemed darker than usual that night, which could only mean one thing.

Kate was _not_ looking forward to the prospect of a thunderstorm keeping her awake during her first night in a house that she now lived in. She’d been able to manage her fear well enough during her lifetime, but the bright flashes of lightning and the loud booms of thunder still caused her to curl up in her sheets like a scared child.

…Ok, so maybe she wasn’t _that_ good at managing it. Kate Sheffield was utterly, completely terrified of thunderstorms, for reasons that she’d never totally been able to explain.

So, as she climbed the stairs and crept down the hallway towards her bedroom, acutely aware of the sound of rain beginning to hit the roof and roll down the windows, she began to think of the people and things she loved, in hopes that it would calm her down.

Edwina. Mary. Newton.

Oh, Newton. She missed him. If he were here now, perhaps she’d be able to cuddle him, clutching his furry body like some sort of lifeline. Maybe his sleepy panting would distract her from the storm and the thunder that always seemed to shake her bed.

She sighed, entering her room and closing the curtains in front of the windows.

After changing into her nightgown, she laid down in bed, wrapping herself in her sheets as if they were armor. The candle on her bedside was still lit, and she was very thankful for its presence.

Kate laid there for a while, listening to the rain grow more intense. She shut her eyes and willed herself to calm down, when she heard the creaking of floorboards outside her door.

Frowning slightly, she got up from her bed and slowly opened the door to see Eloise creeping down the hallway.

“Eloise!” She hissed, momentarily startled by the girl’s presence. She looked to be startled too, and she whipped around, her dark hair dripping wet.

“Oh, gosh,” Eloise said quietly, putting her hand over her heart to stop her chest from heaving. “Please don’t tell Anthony, would you? He’d be terribly angry to hear that I snuck out at night — and right before a thunderstorm, too, no less.”

Kate’s blood ran cold at the thought of a thunderstorm, but she managed to keep her composure in front of the teenager. “Where were you?” She asked, and Eloise sighed.

“I was in the backyard — we have a few swings back there, you see, hanging from trees — with Benedict and Pen.” She said, continuing to speak when she saw Kate’s confused expression. “Penelope Featherington, my friend. She lives across the street.”

“Oh.” She blinked. Kate has heard of the Featheringtons, but she’d never met them. “Well, you’d better go to bed. I’m sure your brother won’t find out what you were doing.”

The last thing Kate wanted to experience tonight, besides a thunderstorm, was an angry Viscount. She bid Eloise goodnight and went back into her room, noticing that the rain had picked up even more. She swallowed nervously. The storm had begun.

She squeezed her eyes shut and begged her body to let her fall asleep. Thunder rumbled, and Kate hugged her knees, biting her lip softly.

God, where was Newton when she needed him? Kate considered hugging her pillow, but then decided against it.

Lightning flashed, illuminating the room, and she took a shuddering breath.

_Please go to sleep, please go to sleep, please go to sle—_

Thunder boomed, even louder than last time, and her eyes snapped open. She was trying to stay calm, but her chest was heaving. Kate was paralyzed with fear.

And then, to her shock, the bedroom door opened.

In the darkness, Kate could still make out the small frame of Hyacinth Bridgerton creeping around the doorframe, her white nightgown giving her a ghostly appearance. And, over the sounds of the rain and thunder, she could tell that the girl was close to tears.

She was sniffling, and jumped nearly a foot when lightning lit up the bedroom. Kate gestured for the girl to come closer, and she did, tiptoeing over to sit on the edge of her bed.

“I’m sorry, Miss Sheffield,” Hyacinth sniffled, hugging her knees. “The lightning… it scares me. And, usually, I’ll go and sleep with Mother, but…”

She trailed off, but Kate understood. Violet Bridgerton was gone. To an eleven year old girl, a new governess was, perhaps, the second best thing compared to her mother.

“It’s alright,” Kate replied, getting up and sitting next to Hyacinth, wrapping her arm around her when a large crack of thunder shook the house. She understood where the girl was coming from. “I’m afraid of storms, too.” She confessed, and the youngest Bridgerton looked up at her in amazement.

“Really?” Hyacinth gasped, her big brown eyes boring into Kate’s. “B-but… you’re an _adult_.” She said, like she couldn’t believe what her governess had just said.

Kate laughed quietly. “I am. But just because I’m older than you doesn’t mean I’m not scared of certain things, too.”

Hyacinth blinked, trying to process this new information. “Yes, but… my siblings don’t seem to be scared of _anything_.”

Kate sighed. “Well, they’re probably just good at hiding it.”

The girl furrowed her eyebrows together. “Even Anthony?” She said, looking suspiciously at her.

Kate scoffed. “ _Even_ Anthony.” She was sure that the Viscount was afraid of _something_.

 _Maybe commitment,_ she thought, holding back her laugh.

Lightning flooded the room again, followed by roaring thunder. Both girls jumped, and Hyacinth wrapped herself in Kate’s blanket.

Kate took a deep breath, trying to rid herself of her worries, before turning to the girl. “Do you want to know something?” She asked, and Hyacinth nodded.

If thinking of Newton could help calm her, an _adult_ , then certainly it would have the same effect on a little girl.

“Whenever there’s a storm,” She explained. “I like to think of my dog.”

Hyacinth’s eyes lit up. “You have a dog?”

“Yes. A corgi, his name is Newton.”

“Is he cute?”

“Yes, very.” Kate smiled, and Hyacinth grinned. “He’s also very fat,” She continued, and the girl giggled.

“Can I meet him?” She asked, and Kate shrugged.

“Maybe one day,” She responded. “If your brother doesn’t fire me.”

As if on cue, the door creaked open, revealing none other than Lord Bridgerton, still clad in his clothes from dinner. Hyacinth gasped, jumping out of bed.

“Hyacinth,” He said, his tone remarkably kind. “What were you doing here?”

“She was afraid of the storm, and—“ Kate began, and was quickly shushed by the Viscount.

“My sister can answer for herself, Miss Sheffield,” He said sternly, before turning back to Hyacinth.

“Miss Sheffield is right, Anthony.” Hyacinth confessed, looking down at her feet. “I _was_ scared of the storm. Usually, I’d go to Mother, but—“ She stopped and shrugged. “Miss Sheffield was nice. She told me about her dog.”

“Really?” Anthony said, glancing at Kate with an unreadable expression.

“Yes. Can we meet him someday?”

“Maybe,” He replied, in a tone that most definitely meant _No_. “Come on, now, let’s get you to bed.”

Kate watched as he lead his youngest sibling out of the room, before walking back in.

“Bedtime is to be strictly observed in this household,” The Viscount said, his voice cold. “I hope that does not happen again.”

“My lord,” Kate replied, growing quickly annoyed with this man and his stiffness. “She’s your younger sister, and she was scared. I don’t see why you can’t—“

“Do not tell me how to raise my younger siblings, Miss Sheffield.” He replied, his voice displaying no emotion. “They are getting on perfectly fine at the moment.”

She frowned. “With all due respect, my lord, I was just suggesting that you comfort her—“

“That will be _enough._ ” He said forcefully, causing her to blink in surprise. “Goodnight, Miss Sheffield.”

He shut the door with what was probably more force than strictly necessary, leaving Kate alone in the dark.

She groaned, letting her head fall back onto the bed. It was going to be a _long_ night.

* * *

The next week went by remarkably quickly. Kate had soon settled into some sort of routine, spending her days helping Hyacinth with her piano lessons, and reminding Gregory not to eat all of the biscuits. Francesca and Eloise kept to themselves, with Eloise scribbling in her diary and Francesca doing God-knows-what.

She avoided the Viscount as much as possible, which wasn’t very difficult, since he seemed to spend most of his days in his office or in another undisclosed location. When he left his office or returned home. she steered clear of him, choosing to eat her meals in the kitchen with the cook, the butlers, and the maids.

She liked the Bridgerton children, she really did, but she just couldn’t stand their eldest brother. He really was a rake. Even if the Dowager Viscountess Bridgerton hadn’t died, and Lord Bridgerton had participated in the social season, Kate was sure that he wouldn’t have found a wife. No woman would ever want to be married to him.

One sunny afternoon, however, everything seemed to have changed. Kate was watching Hyacinth attempt embroidery in the drawing room, when the Viscount marched in, causing both the littlest Bridgerton and her governess to look up in surprise.

He never came home early, ever. Something was up.

He crossed the room, sitting on the couch with his youngest sister, placing her embroidery to the side. Kate noticed that his cravat was coming undone, and he looked a bit sad, but he was clearly trying to put on a brave face for his younger siblings.

“Hyacinth,” Lord Bridgerton began, leaning back on the couch. “How would you feel about going to Aubrey Hall a bit earlier this year?”

Hyacinth blinked in surprise, her smile reaching her eyes. “Really?” She asked incredulously, and the Viscount nodded.

“A change of scenery would do everyone some good, wouldn’t it?” He asked, and she nodded. “Go on and tell your siblings to start packing. We’ll leave in a few days.”

Hyacinth jumped up, running across the room, when she suddenly stopped in the doorway.

“May I use your lucky mallet, brother?” She asked sweetly, and the Viscount shook his head.

“No,” He replied, and Hyacinth rolled her eyes. “You know the mallet of death is for me, and me only.”

Kate snorted at that, watching Hyacinth skip out of the room. A mallet of death? A name like that was quite fitting for the man she hated most in this household.

Lord Bridgeton turned to her, a frown on his face. “Is something the matter, Miss Sheffield?” He asked sternly, and she shook her head.

“Not at all, my lord.” She replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes as hard as Hyacinth just did.

“Good,” He replied, clasping his hands behind his back. “You will be joining us too, obviously, since you are my siblings’ governess. I suggest you go pack immediately.”

Kate nodded, getting up from her chair and quickly leaving the room, trying to ignore the feeling that the Viscount’s eyes were boring into the back of her head.

She could only hope that she’d survive this change of scenery. She had no idea what was to await her when she arrived at Aubrey Hall.

* * *

_News indicating that the Viscount Bridgerton intends on bringing his siblings, as well as their new governess, to Aubrey Hall earlier than normal has traveled fast. Although This Author will obviously not be in attendance, you can be sure that I will get to the bottom of it, and report on anything and everything that happens at the Bridgerton’s ancestral home this spring and summer. As we all surely know by now, that family is never without a scandal._

_—_ LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS, 5 May 1814


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aubrey Hall shenanigans. Fires are beginning to light. *eyes emoji*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rest In Peace to the amazing Christopher Plummer (Captain Von Trapp) who died last week. May his legacy bloom and grow forever.

A few days later, the siblings’ suitcases and trunks were packed and placed on top of the three carriages that would take them to Aubrey Hall. The Viscount, Benedict, and Colin would travel together in the first carriage, with Francesca and Gregory in the second, and, finally, Kate, Eloise, and Hyacinth in the third.

Gregory had insisted on not needing his governess with him for the ride to the estate, and his eldest brother had decided not to argue with him, and swapped out Eloise for Gregory in the second carriage.

The journey wasn’t terribly long, but it was certainly longer than a normal ride in the city, since, after all, the house was in the country. Eloise had brought along the latest edition of _Whistledown_ with her, reading it aloud to Kate.

Given the Bridgerton family’s status in life, Kate was expecting Aubrey Hall to be a large country house, although certainly not _this_ large. It sat on sixty acres of land, ten of which were some of the most beautiful gardens that Kate had ever seen.

“Wow,” She whispered as the carriage pulled up to the entrance. “Do you spend every summer here?” She asked Eloise, who nodded.

“Yep. Anthony loves it so much, he wishes he could live here all year round.” The younger girl replied, looking out the window. “Unfortunately, his responsibilities as Viscount prevent that. He needs to stay in the city to do his work.”

“Oh.”

Eloise sighed. “No one in the family likes it here as much as he does, except for Mother, probably.” She shrugged halfheartedly. “I mean, I’d get so bloody bored if I were to stay here in the winter.” She shuddered, and Kate couldn’t find it in herself to scold the girl for her language. After all, Hyacinth was asleep, her head pressed against Kate’s shoulder.

She suspected that there was probably a reason why the Viscount preferred Aubrey Hall to Bridgerton House, but she’d probably never know the answer.

A valet opened the carriage door for them, and Kate gently nudged Hyacinth awake. The girl yawned, shaking herself awake, and then hopped out of the carriage, not needing assistance from the valet. Eloise and Kate also declined assistance, and the trio joined the other Bridgerton siblings on the front steps of the house.

The valet and the butlers would bring in their suitcases later, but for now, it was time for Kate to be shown around the house. Gregory and Hyacinth dragged her around almost everywhere, showing her even the most insignificant rooms in the house, like a _closet_. There were a few doors that the children simply passed by, not bothering to open, but Kate decided to not think anything of it. When they finally climbed the stairs, Hyacinth and Gregory led her down a hallway and into a gorgeous, large ballroom, with tall ceilings and shiny floors.

Kate watched as they pranced around the ballroom, their voices echoing around the large room. Eventually, the two children dropped to the floor, laughing hysterically.

“Oh, gosh,” Gregory giggled, his chest heaving as he laid on the floor, looking up at the marvelous ceiling. “Anthony would be _so_ mad if he saw us right now.”

“Why?” Kate asked curiously, carefully sitting down on the floor. Hyacinth sat up and shrugged.

“He really likes this house.” The little girl said, nudging her brother in an effort to get him to sit up, too.”I’m not sure why, but he hates when anything about it is disturbed. You’d have to ask Benedict or Colin, probably.”

“I’d bet it has something to do with Father,” Gregory propped himself up on his elbows, and Hyacinth glared at him. “What? It’s just an observation.”

Kate glanced at the two siblings. Of course, given their young age, they wouldn’t know the reason why the Viscount loved this place so much. The house was gorgeous, as was the land around it, and Kate found herself liking it, too. Perhaps he just preferred the country to the city.

She watched as Gregory and Hyacinth pulled each other up from the floor and ran to one of the large windows in the hallway outside of the ballroom. Their joyous shouts caused Kate to join them in looking out the window, where she saw that a man and a woman had just exited a carriage.

She didn’t recognize them, but Gregory and Hyacinth, as well as every other Bridgerton, surely did.

“Simon! Daphne!” He called out, racing down the hall and down the stairs, with Hyacinth and Kate rushing after him.

“It’s my eldest sister,” Hyacinth explained, as she and Kate quickly made their way down the stairs. “And her husband, the Duke.”

She and Hyacinth walked out the front door, to see Gregory being hoisted in the air by a very attractive man, while a red-headed woman stood by. Kate had read Whistledown’s papers during the last social season, and she couldn’t _believe_ that the Viscount had initially forbidden his sister from marrying the Duke of Hastings. Of course, she supposed it was only natural for an eldest brother to be wary of his sister marrying a friend of his, but to go to the lengths that Lord Bridgerton did was a bit absurd, in her opinion.

Eloise and Francesca arrived soon after, and Kate watched as some members of the family hugged each other.

“Did you bring the baby?” Eloise asked the woman, who Kate suspected to be Daphne.

She shook her head in response, which elicited a groan from Eloise. “We just decided to stop by for a few hours when we heard that you all were at Aubrey Hall. And, besides, Eloise, I thought you didn’t like babies.”

“I don't.” Eloise grumbled, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “But I make an exception for yours.”

Daphne laughed at that, and her gaze fell on Kate. “And who is this?” She asked, and Kate curtsied quickly.

“Your grace,” She said politely. “I’m Miss Sheffield, Gregory and Hyacinth’s governess.”

The Duchess of Hastings nodded, her mouth forming a small _o._ “So _you’re_ the one Anthony hasn’t managed to get rid of yet.” She commented, and Kate blinked in surprise. “Good. He must like you.”

Kate was about to tell the Duchess that the Viscount definitely did _not_ like her, when she heard a commotion behind her.

“Hastings!” She heard Lord Bridgerton shout, and turned to see him, Benedict, and Colin trooping through the grass and onto the stone driveway, carrying pall mall mallets. The Viscount was carrying a black one, which Kate could only assume was the mallet of death.

They must’ve been playing for a while, and quite aggressively, because the mallets had places where the paint had been scratched and peeled off, and the brothers were in various states of disarray.

The Viscount had discarded his coat, leaving only his teal vest and white button-down shirt, and rolled up his white shirtsleeves to reveal his forearms. His hair had blown all over the place, and he ran a hand through it as he passed Kate, seemingly not even noticing that she was there. Benedict and Colin followed him, with Benedict’s vest unbuttoned, and Colin’s pants having what looked like grass stains on them.

“Bridgerton!” The Duke of Hastings boomed, and the two men hugged. The younger brothers greeted and hugged the Duchess, and Kate simply… observed. She really didn’t know what to do, until Hyacinth gripped her hand. She hadn’t noticed that that little girl was still standing next to her until that moment.

It was fascinating, really, to observe the Bridgerton family’s dynamics. She felt like she could watch them interact forever. The Duchess had managed to make her way over to her again, and was also observing the scene.

“Do you have any brothers?” She asked, and Kate shook her head. “Well, mine are quite a rowdy bunch when they’re together. I’m sure you can tell.” The Duchess commented, gesturing towards where The Duke, The Viscount, Benedict and Colin were, their heads all thrown back in laughter. Hyacinth had broken away from Kate, and she and Gregory were whispering about something.

It was the first time she’d seen Lord Bridgerton act like a _brother,_ and not as a father or a rake. It was a side of him that she’d never even thought of before, one she never thought even _existed_ until that moment.

It was… intriguing.

“Penny for your thoughts?” The Duchess asked, glancing at Kate.

She shook her head. “I’m afraid I don’t have many at the moment, your grace. I’m simply observing.” She confessed, watching as the Viscount broke up a small scuffle between Gregory and Hyacinth.

“Oh, please,” The Duchess said, clearly not in the mood for formality. “Call me Daphne. As long as you work for my family, don’t bother with my title.”

“Well, in that case,” Kate tore her eyes away from the Viscount and his youngest siblings. “You can call me Kate.”

Hyacinth skipped back over to her, with Gregory in tow. “Miss Sheffield, will you come play pall mall with us later? You _have_ to see Anthony with the mallet of death,” She said eagerly, and Daphne laughed, shaking her head slightly.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.” Kate looked up to see Anthony leaning against the black mallet, grinning at Hyacinth. “We want to give her a chance to win, don’t we?” He asked, looking at her with a suddenly very serious impression on his face.

“I’m sure I can win.” Kate challenged, frowning slightly. The Viscount cocked his head to the side, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Hyacinth and Daphne looked at each other for a second, before they both burst out laughing.

“There’s no pall mall like Bridgerton pall mall,” Daphne explained, after noticing the slightly confused expression on her face. “Anthony _always_ wins, Kate. No newcomer could ever beat him.”

“We’ll have to play after I return from London next week,” He said, his tone no longer playful now that he was no longer talking to his youngest sister. However, he wasn’t as stern as he was in the past, which Kate considered to be a relief. Perhaps she’d finally proved herself to be a worthy governess, and he’d stop being so damn _stubborn_. “Maybe I’ll bring along a friend, so that the chances of you coming in last place are slightly diminished.”

Kate scoffed at his assumption. “Slightly?” She replied, her eyebrows raising slightly.

“Yes,” He said, picking up his black mallet, gripping it hard enough that the veins in his hands and forearms were suddenly much more visible. Not that Kate was _looking_ at his hands, of course. She just happened to notice. “Just slightly.”

“I’ll have you know that I highly doubt I’ll come in last place.” She said, crossing her hands across her chest. “Even if I don’t steal your so-called lucky mallet.” Kate recalled the conversation he’d had with Hyacinth in the drawing room a few days prior. Surely the color of a _mallet_ couldn’t make it lucky.

Now it was his turn to scoff, turning the mallet over in his hands. “My God, Miss Sheffield, are you _always_ this difficult?”

“Only when the person I’m talking to is as difficult as I am.” She shot back, and he sighed.

“Well, we’ll just have to see how she does on the day of play, won’t we, Daphne?” He asked, and Kate turned to the oldest Bridgeton sister, realizing that, for a moment, she’d almost forgotten that she was standing next to her. “Assuming you’d like to come and play with us as well?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” The Duchess replied, smiling at Kate. “I’d very much like to see Kate’s introduction to Bridgerton pall mall.”

The Viscount looked down at his mallet again, then back up at his sister. “I hope it won’t be a complete disaster, but, knowing how we usually play, I think that’s wishful thinking.” He said, and Daphne nodded. “Anyway, it was lovely to talk to you, Daphne.” The smile left his face as his eyes left his sister and settled on Kate. “Miss Sheffield.”

There was the barest hint of a half-hearted smile on his lips, thankfully, and Kate breathed out a sigh of relief once he was out of earshot. Daphne glanced at her, the strangest expression on her face, and said, “I think you’re a lot like him, actually.”

“Excuse me?” Kate gaped at the Duchess. She was _not_ anything like the Viscount. He was a rake, trying to hid his awful reputation from the public, and she was just trying to make a living for her family, to give her sister the best season possible. They were not the same, not even close.

“You’re the oldest child, aren’t you?” She asked, and Kate nodded. “I met your sister at a ball recently. She recognized me and told me what you’re doing.”

“Oh.” She replied, surprised. “Really?”

“Yes,” Daphne replied, a gentle smile playing at her lips as she recalled the conversation between her and Edwina. “I thought it was so kind, what you’re doing for her. You clearly care for her a lot. It reminds me of my brother.” She said, and Kate swallowed. “I mean, he was willing to get himself killed for me!” She laughed, and Kate awkwardly joined in.

She was well aware of the Duke and the Viscount’s duel last year, and it struck her more as _ridiculous_ than _caring_ , but she didn’t want to disagree with the Duchess. After all, she wasn’t actually _there_ for the event, like Daphne was.

“Well, I guess we’re both headstrong eldest siblings, then,” Kate shrugged. “That’s one thing we have in common, I suppose.”

Daphne nodded. “Which is why it came as no surprise to me to hear that he hadn’t fired you yet.” She shot a polite smile at the governess. “I’ll hopefully see you soon, Kate. Try not to lose to my brother when you’re playing pall mall.”

* * *

The Viscount announced his departure for London the next day, with the intention of leaving the next morning, and, to Kate’s surprise, his siblings were absolutely, completely fine with it. Of course, she knew that the younger siblings would be able to survive without him, having been placed in her care _and_ under the watchful eyes of their two older brothers. She knew the Viscount was a busy man, but she couldn’t believe that he couldn’t take just a _week_ off of his schedule to spend with his family, especially in the wake of his mother’s death.

“They’ll survive,” He told her, as she angrily followed him down the hall after breakfast that morning. “It’s just for a few days. I’ve done it many times before.”

“But they _need_ you now!” Kate huffed. “Especially Gregory and Hyacinth. You’re the closest to a father figure they’ve ever had—“

He turned around suddenly, stopping her in her tracks and almost causing her to run straight into him. “I _said_ , they’ll survive. I’m a busy man, Miss Sheffield. I have duties and people to attend to. My siblings will be _fine_. They’re in your care, after all.” He paused, his jaw tightening. “Anyway, I’m not sure if you’re in a position to lecture _me_ about what my siblings are feeling in this moment. You can’t possibly understand.”

Kate had just accepted his thinly veiled compliment when she heard his last sentence. “I do.” She said quietly, her jaw set and her eyes blazing. “I _do_ know how they’re feeling. If you ever asked about me, or stopped being so _stern_ , then you’d know that.”

Something in his face changed, but she wasn’t sure what. They stared at each other for a moment, irritation coursing through both of their veins, before Kate lifted her chin, and said, as polite as she could muster, “Have a nice trip, Lord Bridgerton.”

She turned, marching back down the hallway, leaving the Viscount standing there. Tears pricked at her eyes. How _dare_ he tell her that she had no idea what his siblings were feeling! They hid it well, Kate knew, with their sarcastic comments and childish squabbling, but she knew they were hurting after the death of their mother. She knew those feelings well, she’d experienced them herself after the death of her mother, and, more recently, her father.

She spent the rest of the day watching Gregory and Hyacinth chase each other around the large gardens, wondering why she ever agreed to take this job in the first place. The Viscount was sure to fire her soon; if not today, then next week, when he returned from London. She’d never be able to introduce Hyacinth to Newton, or tell Gregory to _please_ stop eating all the biscuits, or beat Lord Bridgerton at pall mall.

She’d give the money from the job to Edwina, like she’d always planned on doing, and then go back to Somerset, where’d she’d waste the rest of her days away as a spinster.

The thought almost made her want to cry, and she wasn’t entirely sure why. Yes, she had grown fond of Gregory and Hyacinth, and even clever Eloise and the mysterious Francesca, but she wasn’t their mother. She had no reason to be feeling this way about potentially losing her job as their governess.

That night, she found herself wandering to the kitchen, in search of some milk, or even a biscuit. She felt terrible about what she’d said to the Viscount earlier, and wanted desperately to get on better terms with him. She didn’t think they’d ever be _friends_ , only acquaintances, but, at this point, anything was better than being his enemy. She just wanted to apologize.

When she entered the kitchen, however, she found that the Viscount was already there. His back was turned, and he was propped up against the counter. His sleeves were rolled up, just as they were the day before, during Daphne and Simon’s arrival, and Kate found herself staring at his forearms. She watched as he slowly placed a bottle of milk down on the counter, the veins in his wrists flexing slightly. She stood there for a few seconds, wrapping her robe tighter around herself, unsure of what to do. Finally deciding that fleeing was clearly the best course of action, Kate stepped back. The floorboards creaked loudly as her heel made contact with the floor, and she cringed.

The Viscount whirled around, his eyes wide. He placed a hand over his heart in shock, exhaling loudly. “My God,” He said, his expression twisting into a relived smile. “Miss Sheffield, you startled me.”

“Sorry,” She replied awkwardly, trying not to notice the fact that he wasn’t wearing a cravat, and his neck was gorgeous, and— “I didn’t think anyone else would be down here at this time of night.”

“Me neither,” He shrugged, glancing down at his half-empty (or half-full) milk bottle. “Can’t sleep?”

Kate shook her head. “I thought some warm milk or a biscuit would do me some good.”

“Smart,” He murmured, opening the fridge and grabbing another milk bottle. “I’m the same way.”

“Oh.” She replied, not even hiding the surprise in her voice. The Viscount seemed to have changed quite a bit. The change of scenery also ushered in a change in his demeanor, she noticed. Gone was the stern, emotionless father-figure, replaced by a clever, commanding older brother.

He shot her a strange look, one she couldn’t read — honestly, she didn’t think she’d ever be able to understand this man — and gestured to the stove. “Do you know how to use it?” He asked, clearly skeptical, and Kate nodded.

“I think so,” She said, staring at the stove. She knew she had to light it, somehow. Kate’s eyes flitted around, looking at the stove curiously.

“Forget it.” She mumbled, grabbing the second bottle that the Viscount had placed on the counter. “Cold milk is just fine.”

“Did your mother not teach you how to light a stove?” He asked, taking a drink of his milk. “Mine didn’t.”

Kate froze. “No,” She said, her voice hollow. She’d never gotten a chance to. Mary had never taught her, either, having been much too occupied with little Edwina.

She struggled to open the bottle, and wrestled with it for a few seconds, before the Viscount reached out a helping hand.

“I can do it myself,” Kate muttered, but the cap didn’t budge. Sighing reluctantly, she handed the bottle to him, watching as he swiftly unscrewed the cap, and handed it back to her. She whispered a quick “ _Thank you_ ,” and they sat in silence for a few moments.

“Look, um,” He spoke up, and Kate glanced at him. “I would like to apologize for my actions. I know I have not been very fair to you recently, or… _ever_ , really. And I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She replied, but he didn’t look convinced.

“My comment earlier… was unnecessarily harsh.” The Viscount continued, and Kate got the feeling that he was not a very emotionally expressive man, or at least he wasn’t at the moment. “And while I am not forcing you to divulge certain information to me, I would just like to know why you reacted the way you did.”

“That…” Kate paused. “Is a story for another time, Lord Bridgerton. Perhaps I’ll tell you after I beat you at pall mall.”

He scoffed quietly, shaking his head. “That won’t happen.”

“What makes you so sure?” She retorted.

The Viscount pressed his lips together, trying to hide his amusement. “You really are stiff-necked, you know that? I’ve never met a more stubborn woman.”

The giggle left her mouth before she had a chance to stop it, and that made him grin.

“No wonder my siblings like you, Sheffield.” He muttered. “You probably remind them of themselves.”

Now it was her turn to scoff. While she was fond of his siblings, she didn’t see herself in them. In fact, the only Bridgerton that she was beginning to see herself in was actually standing in front of her at this very moment. They _were_ both the oldest siblings in their respective families, after all, and were both fiercely protective of their younger sisters.

“My lord, are you saying that your siblings are just as stubborn as I am?” Kate glanced at him doubtfully, and he shrugged.

“Perhaps.” He replied. “I’ve known them for much longer than you have, of course. Also,” The Viscount continued, setting his empty milk bottle down on the counter. “Please, call me Anthony.”

“I-I’m sorry?” Kate blinked in surprise. He was her _boss_ , and a _Viscount_ —

“There’s no need for titles when you’re all alone in the country with just my siblings and I, Miss Sheffield. You are, after all…” He paused, tapping his fingers on the counter absentmindedly. “…probably considered a very unofficial part of the Bridgerton family.”

“Oh.” She said, gripping her milk bottle so hard that she thought the glass might break. “Well, Anthony,” Kate began, testing out how his name sounded on her lips. “I suppose that you can call me Kate.”

“Of course,” Anthony said, quirking his lips upwards into a polite smile. He moved to put his empty bottle in the sink, leaving her standing there near the counter. The Viscount turned to leave, but stopped in the doorway. “Goodnight, Kate.”

“Goodnight, Anthony.”

* * *

The Viscount left late in the morning the next day, with the promise of returning to Aubrey Hall within the next few days. It was business, he said, that brought him back to London, along with the chance to reconcile with an old friend.

“No idea who that could be,” Eloise shrugged when Kate asked as they strolled around the hall’s large gardens. “Honestly, I’ve never even entertained the idea of Anthony having _friends_.”

Hyacinth giggled at that, and Kate snorted. “Well, I’m sure your brother has _some_ friends,” She responded, watching as Hyacinth, who was clearly not interested in the conversation anymore, ran off to find Gregory. “Take the Duke of Hastings, for example.”

Eloise thought about that for a moment. “Considering that they were about to kill each other last year, and now Hastings is his brother-in-law, I’m not entirely sure if Anthony wants to call him a _friend_ or a _relative_.”

“Oh.”

“I’ll have to ask him when he comes back in a few days. He’d never admit it, but he’s probably one of those sappy people who considers his immediate family to be his friends.” The younger girl shuddered. “If that’s true, then he _definitely_ needs better friends.”

“I thought you love your siblings.” Kate replied, unable to keep the smile off her face.

“Oh, I do.” Eloise responded, bending down to sniff a flower. “But they can be just _unbearable_ sometimes. Surely you’ve noticed that.”

“I think _all_ siblings can be a bit unbearable at times,” Kate shrugged. She thought of Edwina. There had been a few instances during their childhood which had resulted in Kate _loathing_ her half-sister for a few days. “It’s just a fact of life. But… you continue to love them anyway.”

Eloise nodded. “I supposed you’re right. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’d very much like to sack Anthony in the stomach when he starts droning on and on about how much he hates philosophy. I mean, I do too, but one doesn’t _always_ need to voice their dislike for the words of dead men at seemingly every chance they get.”

Kate stifled a laugh. She, too, did not like philosophy, and she had to agree with Eloise, but the mental image of the Viscount ranting about the ridiculousness of dead men’s words was quite funny, as was the thought of Eloise punching him.

“I think I’d quite like to see that,” She replied. “With your mother gone, I suspect you might be the only lady in the family who could smack some sense into him.”

Eloise’s lips quirked upwards into a sad smile. “Perhaps you could, too.” She responded, before breaking into a sprint to catch up with Gregory and Hyacinth, who had wandered deeper into the gardens.

Kate stood there, watching the siblings, with Eloise’s words echoing in her mind.

What on earth did _that_ mean?

* * *

The rest of the week seemed to fly by. Benedict and Colin introduced her to Bridgerton pall mall, and, to their surprise, Kate finished the game in third place. She spent her days playing the pianoforte with Hyacinth, and playing chess with Gregory. Francesca was usually found in the library with a book, wishing to be undisturbed. And Eloise kept on frantically scribbling in her notebook, or talking to Benedict.

When the Viscount finally returned to Aubrey Hall, it was as if no time had even passed at all. Benedict, Colin, the four youngest Bridgerton siblings, and their governess watched as the familiar black carriage rolled up to the entrance.

Gregory had the audacity to ask if his eldest brother had brought back any presents from his trip to London, and Hyacinth elbowed him in the stomach, causing Kate and Eloise to pull the youngest Bridgertons apart before they started a physical fight.

Of course, even if they _had_ started fighting, or poking and prodding at each other, they surely would’ve stopped dead in their tracks as soon as Lord Bridgerton exited the carriage… with a _lady_.

And as this mysterious woman stood near him, glancing at each Bridgerton sibling, Kate felt _something_ in her gut. She wasn’t sure what exactly what it was, but she steeled her shoulders and smiled politely at the woman, pretending not to notice the fact that Eloise was currently gripping her wrist with stunning force.

“Everyone,” The Viscount said, gesturing towards the woman who stood at his side. She was gorgeous, with tan skin and brown hair that was a shade lighter than Kate’s. “This is Siena Rosso, an opera singer. I’ve decided to host a party here next week, and she will be singing. I expect you all to treat her with respect while she’s staying here, and to attend the party, of course.”

“Of course,” Colin muttered, his expression unreadable.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Benedict replied cheerily.

Eloise huffed, suppressing an eye roll, and Hyacinth stayed quiet. Gregory eyed Siena suspiciously, and Kate simply looked at the ground, trying to ignore Eloise’s deathly grip on her wrist.

Lord Bridgerton gestured for the opera singer to enter the hall first, and she did, climbing the stone steps. He followed, and his siblings moved to join him, but he stopped, shooting a look at Kate. His hands clasped behind his back, with a hint of a genuine smile on his lips, he nodded slightly and greeted her.

“Kate,” He said quietly, his voice almost a whisper, and his lips quirked upward into a more noticeable smile.

“My lord,” She responded, not daring to meet his eyes for more than a second.

His smile seemed to flicker and disappear for just a second, until he bowed his head and entered the hall.

* * *

_Rumors are circulating that Lord Bridgerton has brought a certain lady back to Aubrey Hall with him. This Author’s source did not name the woman, but indicated that his siblings might not be pleased with his apparent match. One has to wonder: is she really the one for him, or is there another? Only time will tell, dear reader._

— LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS, 20 MAY 1814

* * *

It was raining.

The rain wasn’t falling hard, not yet, but as the night progressed, she was sure it would begin to hit the windows with much more force.

She’d barely noticed it when Anthony had called everyone into the ballroom after dinner to listen to Siena practice an aria. The opera singer’s voice had drowned out the quiet sound of water hitting and rolling down the windows as the family sat and listened.

Or… at least _tried_ to listen. Eloise had slouched in her seat, her arms crossed. Gregory had kept swinging his feet, and Anthony had to reach over and grab his knees in order to make him stop. Hyacinth had once again fallen asleep on Kate’s shoulder, the rain and the aria causing her tired eyes to close.

The siblings who had paid attention to the singer had clapped when she finished the aria, and Colin had even demanded an encore, but Anthony had quickly struck down that idea. It was getting late, he’d said, and Gregory and Hyacinth needed to go to bed.

In truth, Kate was currently wandering the halls of Aubrey Hall for two reasons. One, to get her mind off of the rain and the possibility of a storm. And, two… she was attempting to rid her mind of what had happened in the ballroom after Colin’s request for an encore had been declined.

Gregory had obeyed his eldest brother, hopping out of his chair and making his way towards his room. But Hyacinth had stayed asleep, her head on Kate’s shoulder, and showed no signs of waking up on her own. She was clearly exhausted.

So, Anthony, being the father figure he was, had gently tapped her on the shoulder, but she still didn’t wake. Kate had taken it upon herself to nudge the girl, and she and Anthony watched as she began to stir.

Eloise had yawned, turning her attention to her youngest sister. She’d been watching Siena converse with Benedict and Colin, but had clearly deemed the conversation to be boring, and instead focused on the sleeping form of her eleven year old sister.

The brother, the sister, and the governess had watched as Hyacinth began to wake, her bleary eyes landing on Kate. Anthony had put a hand on her shoulder, clearly intending to lead his sleepy sister to her room, but she didn’t look at him. Instead, with her eyes still fixated on Kate, she mumbled, “Mama,” causing the two siblings and the governess to freeze.

Anthony’s eyes had locked on hers, and they stared at each other for an impossibly long second, their eyes wide, before Anthony had carefully extracted Hyacinth from her chair.

Eloise had said nothing, she’d just observed, her eyes following her eldest brother as he lead the youngest Bridgerton out of the ballroom. And, now, almost half an hour later, Kate was still trying to get her mind off of it.

It was nothing but an accident, a slip of the tongue from a tired child, but he’d looked at her in the strangest way, like he’d just realized something. But, for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out _what_.

She sighed, walking lazily through the halls, until she encountered a door that was slightly ajar. It was one that Gregory and Hyacinth hadn’t opened when they had given her a tour of Aubrey Hall. Kaye pushed the door open, making sure to be quiet, and found herself in a study.

Someone clearly used this place, since it didn’t look like it was for decoration. There were numerous ledgers and books piled on the large oak desk, as well as on the bookshelf pushed up to the wall to the left of it. To the desk’s right, there was a well-loved couch, and an unlit fireplace was opposite the bookshelf. Above the mantle hung a gorgeous portrait of a man and a woman, who both looked very much in love.

 _They must be the late Lord and Lady Bridgerton,_ Kate thought. But before she had a chance to do a closer inspection of the piece, she heard whispers coming from the hall. As the voices grew louder, Kate’s eyes widened, and she scrambled to hide herself under the desk.

It was the Viscount and Siena. And they were walking into the study.

“I fail to see the problem, my lord,” The opera singer said, as the door to the study closed with a horrifying _click_. “Since you know that I am unwilling to let you parade me around out in society, and _I_ know that you do wish to spend more time with me, I think this solution works perfectly.”

Kate had no idea what they were discussing, and, honestly, she didn’t exactly want to know. But considering that she was now stuck in a mildly uncomfortable position under the (thankfully solid) desk, she figured that she might as well listen.

She heard his boots click on the wooden floor, the sound becoming muffled when he stepped on the carpet.

“It does not,” He replied, clearly stressed. “Are you _really_ under the impression that I would send my youngest siblings away from home just so I could spend time with you?”

“You had no problem neglecting them last year, my lord.” Siena said, and Kate heard him scoff.

“That was _different_ ,” The Viscount bit back. “Daphne was looking for a husband, and I had to accompany her to balls and social functions. And…” He paused, lowering his voice, and Kate strained to hear him. “My mother was still alive.”

Siena didn’t respond, and he continued talking. “Things are different this year, Siena. I need to be there for them, my siblings. You must be mad if you think I’d be willing to send Gregory away to boarding school like a…” He fumbled with his words. “Like an unloving father.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” She responded, and he laughed bitterly.

“I am not being ridiculous.” He replied, his voice growing louder as he moved closer to the desk. Kate froze, praying that he wouldn’t, God forbid, sit down in the sturdy leather chair in front of her. “They will not leave Aubrey Hall unless I am going with them. That is final.”

There was a stretch of silence, and Kate’s eyes widened as the Viscount’s boots appeared in front of her. She watched, not daring to breathe, as he sat down.

“Fine,” She heard Siena say, and, to her relief, the door opened and closed.

Unfortunately, she was still stuck under the desk. And the Viscount showed no signs of getting up. She knew he preferred to work late, but she prayed that he’d decided to retire early for the night, giving her an opportunity to sneak out after him.

After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only a few minutes, of hearing the Viscount scribble something down in one of his ledgers and close the book with a _thump_ , he got up.

Thankfully, he didn’t look under the desk, and was occupied with placing his books back on the bookshelf.

 _Maybe,_ Kate thought. _I could sneak behind the couch while he puts the books and ledgers away._

But, just as she tentatively began to crawl out from under the desk, he turned around, his eyes landing directly on her.

“ _Kate_?”

“Anthony,” She replied, his name falling from her lips before she had the chance to reign it back in. “I’m sorry,” She said quickly, getting up and smoothing out her pale blue dress. “It was late, and I decided to, um… explore.”

“ _Explore,_ ” He repeated, staring at her blankly.

“Yes,” Kate replied, swallowing nervously. “Gregory and Hyacinth didn’t get a chance to show me this room during our tour. And, um, the painting,” She continued, glaring at the portrait of the late Lord and Lady Bridgerton that hung above the fireplace. “It’s gorgeous.”

“Yes,” He murmured. “It is.”

She nodded, and turned to leave, when a bright flash of lightning suddenly filled the room.

 _Oh no._ The storm… she’d forgotten about it.

Kate froze, waiting for the crackle of thunder that would surely cause her to nearly jump out of her skin. She closed her eyes, willing herself to calm down.

“Kate?” She heard Anthony ask from behind her. “Is everything alright?”

“No!” She replied, cursing her fear. “I mean… yes. I just—“ She turned around to look at him, her eyes wide. “I don’t like storms.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” She said hurriedly. “It’s a stupid fear, but—“

“No, no,” Anthony reassured her, walking over to the fireplace. “Not stupid at all. Here, sit down,” He said, gesturing to the couch.

So she did. The lightning and thunder continued, and Kate squirmed uncomfortably on the couch, trying to get comfortable. Anthony lit the fireplace, and she watched as the flames grew larger, the heat enveloping her in what seemed like a warm hug.

“I don’t even know why I’m afraid of them.” She said finally, as Anthony sat down on the couch beside her. “I suppose I’ll have to ask Mary about it someday.”

“Mary?” He asked, clearly not recognizing the name.

“My stepmother.” She replied. “My father married her after my mother died.”

“Oh.” Anthony said, his eyes widening as the realization hit him. He sucked in a breath. “ _Oh_ , Kate. I’m so sorry.”

Kate swallowed. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“No,” He replied, shaking his head and scooting a bit closer to her. “No, I do. Obviously I— I didn’t know that when I made that comment in the hall…” He sighed. “I’m sorry.”

She knew exactly what he was talking about. He was referring to the moment when she’d followed him out into the hall after breakfast, begging him to stay with his siblings.

 _Anyway, I’m not sure if you’re in a position to lecture_ me _about what my siblings are feeling in this moment. You can’t possibly understand._

“I forgive you,” Kate said quietly.

Lightning filled the room again, and the rain kept hitting the windows. She shivered, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Do you want to know what I’m afraid of?” Anthony asked, turning to her.

“What?” She asked, narrowing her eyes.

He took a deep breath. “Bees.”

“ _Bees_.” She repeated blankly, raising her eyebrows. “You can’t be serious.”

Anthony tried to hide his smile, and he shook his head. “No, I am.” He told her as Kate shed her slippers and perched her feet on the edge of the couch cushion, hugging her knees. “I’m deathly afraid of them,” He said, but Kate wasn’t convinced. She scoffed.

“What, are you afraid a bee sting will kill you?” She mumbled, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she had a chance to stop them.

He hesitated. “Yes.”

Well, now she felt like a terrible person.

Scooting closer to him, Kate followed his gaze as it landed on the painting above the mantle.

“My father died from a bee sting when I was eighteen years old.” Anthony told her. “Eloise was the one who found him.”

Kate was silent. She didn’t know what to say. He turned back to her, momentarily surprised at how close they now were to each other. Their bodies were almost touching.

“And, I know,” He said, looking down at the carpet at his feet. “It sounds stupid, but—“

“It’s not.” Kate said at the same time as he did, and he looked up at her, his mouth falling open slightly.

“Not stupid at all,” She continued, her breath catching in her throat as the wind howled outside. A branch hit the window just as lightning flashed, and she jumped.

“That’s a very valid fear, actually,” Kate told him, turning her entire body towards his. He was still sitting on the couch, and her toes were poking his thighs. She must’ve looked like a child, or a wounded dog, she thought, as she faced him with her arms wrapped around her knees.

He looked down at her feet, which were clad in her tights, and gestured for her to stretch her legs.

“Put your feet here,” He instructed, patting the empty spot on the couch to the left of him.

“What—“ She was about to protest, but Anthony shushed her.

“I won’t touch you,” He assured her. “Just… put your feet here, please?” He repeated, and, tentatively, Kate did as she was told.

And she found that she was comfortable. If he’d been standing, and touching her, then her position would’ve been referred to as a bloody _bridal carry_. But instead, he barely touched her, just lightly pressed his hand against her back to support her, so she wouldn’t fall back against the couch.

They stayed like that for a few moments, just listening to the rain, and his hand pushed into her spine with just a bit more force every time lightning and thunder struck.

Kate realized with a start that, since they were so close, he could’ve kissed her if he wanted to. At the thought of _that_ , her entire body seized up, right when an especially loud crack of thunder echoed around the room, and his hand flew up to support her neck.

“ _Relax_ ,” He stressed, and honestly, Kate thought she’d could’ve relaxed just fine if she were _alone_ , and not with him. Right now, she felt like she was on fire. Like his touch would burn her.

She swallowed. She needed to leave, either before the storm scared her out of her wits or she leaned forward and kissed him.

“Don’t do anything you might later regret,” She warned, her voice hoarse, as the cold metal of his ring, the one he wore on his pinkie, touched her skin. She shivered.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” He replied huskily, flicking his eyes upwards to stare into hers. He gently pushed her legs away from his left thigh, turning her 90 degrees so she was back to sitting next to him on the couch.

Kate cleared her throat. “It’s late,” She announced, getting up from the couch suddenly. “I’m going to retire for the night.”

His mouth opened, and for a second she thought that he was going to object, but all he said was “Okay.”

“Goodnight, Anthony.” Kate said, not daring to turn back and look at him.

“Goodnight, Kate.” He replied. “Sleep well.”

And she did.

That night, she dreamed of that moment between them, but it played out much differently in her mind.

“I would never regret this,” He replied, scooting away from her so that she was now sitting with her legs laid out on the couch, her body in the shape of an L. “Not in a million years.”

And then he crept closer to her, like a cat, never once breaking eye contact with her as she gently laid down on the couch. With his hands planted next to her shoulders, he kissed her cheek, before moving down to kiss and suck at her collar bone, and Kate felt like she was falling off a cliff.

Her eyes snapped open, and she realized that she was in her bed, in the dark, alone. No Viscount — no _Anthony_ — to be found.

She sighed. She was sure this wasn’t going to end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean... we’ve all had dreams about Anthony, right?
> 
> Next chapter: get ready for balls, Edwina, and, of course, Newton.

**Author's Note:**

> As you may have noticed, not all of the tags represent what actually happened in this chapter. I’ve decided to add all of the tags now, instead of updating them every time I post a new chapter, so... the tags technically hint at what’s to come.
> 
> I’ll do my best to update on weekends. I’m currently swamped in college homework, lol.


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